This did happen to someone I knew when I lived in South Boston. I haven’t spelled everything phonetically, but did so for some of the more famous Boston expressions. For those of you who can’t understand this dialect of English I added endnotes. For more information see, Wicked Good Guide to Boston English
I was up at Castle Island[1] having a spukie[2] and a beah[3] for lunch when I heard this really bizah[4] thing on the cah[5] radio. The Broonz[6] were playing at the Gahden[7]! And this was July!
So I decided to cruise over there and see wa’zup[8]. I was driving through the Combat Zone[9] when I got stuck in traffic so I decided to bang[10] a yoo-ie[11] and take the X-way[12] to the North End[13]. All of a sudden there are blue lights in my rear view mirror. An unmarked car pulls up next to me with two black guys in it. One of the black guys flashes a badge and tells me to pull over.
Now, I’m no chowdahead[14]. Only that morning I was reading the Globe[15] and the headline said that no black cops were getting promoted to detective. So I figured these guys were phoneys and I take off down Stuart Street, through Chinatown and over the X-way to Southie[16]. The two black guys stayed on my tail all the way. By now I’m freaking out. So I cut across the pahk[17] towards the old MDC[18] police station. I pull my cah right up on the sidewalk. The two black dudes are right behind me, so I go running in, yelling that two black guys with guns are trying to kill me. As they come running in the Staties[19] pull their guns, point them at the blacks and tell them to freeze. The black guys are pointing their guns at me, flashing badges and yelling, “Freeze! Police!” It was a frigging Mexican standoff[20] with everyone pointing guns and me in the middle!
Finally, Light Dawns On Marblehead[21]! The black guys are cops! When I tried to explain why I didn’t pull over everyone got a good laugh out of it. Except me. I got bagged[22] for banging a yoo-ie, Failure to Stop and Resisting Arrest. Ain’t that just pissa[23]!
When I finally went to court the judge thought it was funny too. So all I got was fined for a traffic violation. And he told me not to believe everything I read in the papers.
And the Broonz game I heard on the radio? I forgot that I taped that game last winter and was listening to the cassette. Ain’t that bizah?
[1] Castle Island - A recreational area of South Boston at the seashore.
[2] Spukie - A submarine sandwich.
[3] Beah - Beer
[4] Bizah - Bizarre
[5] Cah - Car
[6] Broonz - Bruins – Boston’s National Hockey League Team
[7] Gahden - The Boston Garden – the arena where the Bruins play
[8] Wa’zup or 'zup – What’s up
[9] Combat Zone - Boston’s red light district
[10] Bang – Make an abrupt turn
[11] Bang a yoo-ie – Make a U turn, reverse direction
[12] X-way – The Southeast Expressway, a dual carriageway, a limited access highway
[13] North End – a downtown neighborhood where the Boston Garden is located
[14] Chowdahead – stupid person
[15] Globe – the Boston Globe, major Boston newspaper
[16] Southie – South Boston, an urban Boston neighborhood
[17] Pahk - park
[18] MDC – Metropolitan District Commission, a now defunct government agency that had a police force. The police were asorbed by the State Police.
[19] Staties – the Massachusetts State Police
[20] Mexican Standoff - two or more opposing men with guns drawn and ready, creating a very tense situation
[21] Light Dawns On Marblehead - used when a dense person finally realizes something
[22] Bagged - arrested
[23] Pissa - used as an exclamation when something goes wrong
A few more South Boston links:
My South Boston photos
Old Photographs
Neighborhood site
South Boston Online
South Boston Tribune
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